Loving Me Unconditionally

Sorry Katy Perry but I am making the lyrics of your song "Unconditionally" a bit my own.

"Unconditional, unconditionally, I will love me unconditionally. There is no fear now

Let go and just be free. I will love me unconditionally"

A few years ago, I often found myself comparing my life to the perfectly filtered Instagram photos of others. I would look in the mirror and feel discouraged, especially because I wasn’t wearing makeup. I have nothing against makeup, but I believe it can make you look older over time, so it's not for me. And honestly, the first time I saw some of those women without makeup, I was shocked. It was a reminder that filters can be deceiving. I’m not criticizing anyone—far from it. I always root for us women. But ladies, let’s not be fooled by someone’s polished, filtered image.

A turning point for me came a few years ago when I listened to a podcast where a woman spoke about God in a way I’d never heard before. She shared that she asked God how He saw her before creation, and she chose to lean into that vision. At that point, I had already stopped using hair relaxers because I wanted to discover my natural hair texture. But I would often find myself complaining to God about my "unmanageable" hair. That podcast episode changed something in me, and I became intentional about loving every part of myself.

Now, every time I pass a mirror or while brushing my teeth in the morning or right before bed, I remind myself, "I love you, and God loves you." It may sound silly, but it’s been transformative. I feel this confidence when stepping into unfamiliar and uncomfortable spaces. For example, when I walk into a restaurant and see I’m the only Black person there, I remind myself that God loves me. He didn’t ask for the world’s permission to create me, so even if I feel nervous, I walk in with my head held high. I deserve to be there, and I’m there because I belong.

Loving yourself is the foundation for all the beautiful things and people that can show up in your life.

On this journey of self-love, I’ve learned to put myself first. I’ve learned to say no to things and people who no longer fit into my life. I’m getting in touch with my inner self and paying more attention to my own wants, needs, and desires without feeling ashamed of them. I’m also putting myself out there more, even though there are still some things I’m not comfortable sharing or doing yet. But I know I’ll get there.

Learning to love myself has naturally pushed away the wrong people who were in my life. I now have a clearer sense of what I won’t tolerate anymore. On this journey, I realized that I had a habit of enduring situations and relationships that were draining me. I decided that I’m done with that.

Loving myself has also made me more mindful of how I use my time and energy. I’m no longer tolerating mediocrity, and I’m finding more joy in my life every day.

Start loving yourself today. No one can do it better than you, except God and, if you were blessed with good parents. It’s your duty to love yourself and your life. Think of it as your garden: you get to decide whether to plant weeds, nightshade, or beautiful flowers. Love yourself unconditionally, and watch how your life transforms.

So, unconditional, unconditionally, I will love me unconditionally. There is no fear now

Let go and just be free. I will love me unconditionally. There is no fear now. Let go and just be free. I will love me unconditionally.

An excerpt of my untitled autobiography book.