The Hidden Trap: How Systems and People Keep You in a Constant Reactive Mode

The Moment I Woke Up to This Reality

It was almost 3 a.m. on Christmas Day when I had one of the most life-changing realizations. I was watching a documentary about occupation, and with every scene, my anger grew. I was furious. My blood was boiling. I felt helpless because no matter how much I raged at the screen, I couldn’t change what was happening.

And then it hit me.

This was exactly how oppressors win—by keeping people in a constant state of anger and reaction. By never allowing them to pause, regroup, and think strategically. They create a world where you are always on edge, always anticipating the next blow, always too exhausted to take real action.

The more I reflected, the more I saw this pattern everywhere—not just in oppressive regimes but in everyday life. There are systems and people who thrive on keeping us emotionally reactive, because when we’re constantly reacting, we’re easier to control.

The Systems That Keep Us Reactive

1. Media and Social Networks – News cycles are designed to provoke outrage. Algorithms push content that triggers strong emotions because engagement—especially angry engagement—drives profits. The more reactive you are, the more time you spend consuming, commenting, and arguing.

2. Workplaces and Authority Figures – In some jobs, employees are deliberately put under stress, given unreasonable deadlines, or subjected to power plays that keep them reactive. A constantly stressed employee doesn’t have the energy to challenge the system or demand better.

3. Consumer Culture – Advertising thrives on making people feel they are lacking. The goal is to trigger impulsive, emotionally driven decisions rather than conscious, intentional choices.

   
   

The People Who Keep You Reactive

Beyond systems, there are also individuals who keep you in a reactive mode because they benefit from your emotional instability.

• Manipulators & Narcissists – These people provoke you on purpose, keeping you on the defensive so they can maintain control.

• Toxic Colleagues or Bosses – Some people at work push your buttons just to drain your energy or make you look unprofessional.

• Drama-Seekers – Certain friends or family members create chaos and tension to keep you emotionally invested in their drama.

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I experienced this firsthand at work. I had a colleague who was inconsiderate and selfish. The moment I walked into the office, just seeing his face made me furious. He controlled my mood without even speaking to me. I was constantly reacting to his actions instead of focusing on what mattered.

And that’s when I realized: I was handing over my power.

Breaking Free: Shifting from Reaction to Intention

1. Pause and Recognize the Pattern – Ask yourself: Am I truly choosing my actions, or am I just reacting to triggers?

2. Control What You Consume – Be mindful of the media and people you engage with. Are they adding value or just feeding negativity?

3. Reclaim Your Energy – Instead of wasting energy on things you can’t change in the moment, focus on what you can influence.

4. Respond, Don’t React – Give yourself time before reacting emotionally. Whether it’s through journaling, walking away, or taking deep breaths, create space between the trigger and your response.

5. Be Intentional with Your Thoughts – What you focus on expands. If you keep engaging in negativity, you will keep experiencing it.

This realization changed my life. I decided that no one and nothing would control my emotions unless I allowed it. It’s not about ignoring emotions but about mastering them—understanding them, processing them, and deciding how to use them.

Your energy is your most valuable resource. Guard it. Protect it. Invest it wisely.

With all my heart,

Salima