Setting Sail: Embracing Ownership of Our Lives

"The wind and the waves are always on the side of the ablest navigator." - Edmund Gibbon

Today, I found myself in a familiar position: a passenger on someone else's boat. I had no say in who else would join me, where we were headed, or the stops along the way. My movements were restricted, because there were areas marked "personal only." I felt trapped, powerless and thought I had no choice but to be there. You may wonder why I embarked on someone else's boat in the first place. The simple truth is that I never knew I could build or acquire a boat on my own, everyone in my circle was a passenger, and from a young age, I was conditioned to see myself solely as one. It never occurred to me that there was time when there was no boat or even the notion of it or that many boat owners were once passengers themselves, with some even unable to afford the fare but they all dared to envision themselves as boat owners and took bold steps to turn their dreams into reality.

The above is just a parallel of our current world reality and it made me ask myself how much control do we truly possess over our lives? Are we among the fortunate few who can wake up, leisurely spend time pursuing our passions, and craft our own destinies? Or do we find ourselves among the masses, waking up each day to contribute to someone else's dreams, adhering to their instructions and schedules? Feeling stuck and powerless and thinking that is it.

As the days turn into years and we grow older, the value of time becomes increasingly apparent. We are more and more aware that our time is our life, and how we spend it is of utmost importance. We need to ask ourselves daily, If life were to come to a halt right now, would we be content with how we invested our precious moments and the company we kept? Would our existence leave a lasting imprint on the world? I cannot answer for everyone, but I can speak for myself. The fear of going unnoticed gnaws at me. I dread the thought of simply drifting through life without making a meaningful impact. I am afraid that my insecurities will hinder me from embracing the life I truly desire.

Here is an excerpt of the book "Bella Figura" written by the Iranian exiled Author Kamin Mohammadi, where she recounts her journey fleeing the soul crushing corporate media environment of London for a sabbatical year in the soul nourishing beauty of Florence that really speaks to that. Her book forces us to ask ourselves life changing questions and implores us to take transformative actions. Let's her words provoke introspection and inspire us to seize the reins of our own lives:

When I arrived in Florence, I could not have been further from this ideal. Decades of working at the computer had rounded my shoulders, years of looking down into a laptop or phone had slackened my jawline and compressed my neck. The stress of a demanding job and big-city life had hardened my features. My eyes were fixed to the ground as I hurried through life, with no time to throw anyone a smile let alone a kind word. Single for years, my loneliness had calcified. I didn’t so much strut with confidence as cringe down the street. A year in Florence—and discovering bella figura—changed my life.

The concept of bella figura is about making every aspect of life as beautiful as it can be, whether in Rome, London, New York, or Vancouver. It is a notion at once romantic and practical. It encompasses everything we do, from what we eat to how we get to work in the mornings. It’s about sensuality and sexuality. It’s about banishing the stress that, no matter how few carbs we eat and how vigorously we exercise, means our bodies are so shut down we can only ever look harrowed and pinched. Bella figura is about generosity and abundance, not meanness or deprivation. The Italian woman who lives the bella figura knows the importance of beautiful manners and a graceful demeanor, not as a nod to a bygone era, but as a means of “making the face” until it fits—it’s a proven fact that if we smile genuinely often enough, we release the happy hormone serotonin. All of this improves not only our quality of life but also the quantity of years we have. Ten years ago I moved to Florence quite by accident, and that first year I spent there changed my life, my body, and the shape of my heart. I believe that what I learned can change yours too.

I don't know where you are at life and what you are going through but my hope is that her profound words ignite a spark within you and I and propel us towards a life filled with purpose, fulfillment, and ownership. It's time to cast off the role of a mere passenger and embark on the voyage of self-discovery and personal empowerment. Let's hoist the sails of our dreams and navigate the open waters with unwavering determination. The helm is in our hands, and it's time to set sail on the journey of a lifetime.

With all my heart,

Salima