The Need To Be Right: An Exploration Of A Common Tendency

“Being right keeps you in place. Being wrong forces you to explore.” ― Steven Johnson

We all have encountered individuals who have an unyielding desire to assert their rightness, even in the face of conflicting evidence, or perhaps we have displayed this trait ourselves. These individuals cannot tolerate losing an argument and will not accept defeat even when faced with convincing proof against their stance. A few of them, go as far as, not being content by simply having the final word if they believe the other person has given up the argument without acknowledging their point. In such cases, they may persistently bring up the issue at a later time.

Like many tendencies, the "need to be right" falls on a spectrum. Most of us possess some degree of it, while some exhibit it more frequently than others. But what is it about being right that makes it so appealing? Perhaps it is the desire to appear superior, knowledgeable, or to gain trust and admiration from others?

Being right can provide validation and boost our self-worth, reinforcing our self-image and hiding our insecurities. From an early age, most of us learn through the educational system that being right is rewarded and being wrong is punished. Moreover, the people who trigger our need to be right may not necessarily be related to social hierarchy or practical considerations such as seeking favor from a superior, context also plays a role in this.

There are many times in our personal and professional relationships where we feel the need to be right, but at what cost? Does this behavior truly serve us in our relationships or does it merely feed our egos? The more we believe we are always right, the less we will grow and learn, a fact worth considering.

So, in what situations do you feel the need to be right? When do you stubbornly stand your ground? It's important to be aware of these moments and reflect on how they serve you in your relationships. Think back to your last argument with someone, both of you probably thought you were right. Did you consider the presence of arrogance in that situation, aside from anger? Often, we fail to recognize arrogance as readily as other emotions.

With arrogance being right often becomes more significant than being kind, honest, or compassionate. The level of certainty that comes with being right can surpass accuracy, leading us to hold onto false beliefs. Our senses and minds can sometimes mislead us, but we still argue about them with certainty. To those who disagree with us, their level of certainty seem unjustified, even obnoxious. We believe it is a result of their excessive attachment to their ideas and opinions and a narrow, stubborn way of thinking. But in contrast when we are feeling certain that's only a side effect of being right. With arrogance running it is very difficult to listen to what other people are saying.

Arrogance hinders the ability to listen to others and consider different perspectives. In any given subject, there are numerous points of view, and one person cannot have all the answers. It's crucial to not force our opinions onto others and embrace the opportunity to learn from being wrong.

Can you think of any valid benefits of the arrogance of being right? Being aware of the fact that we don’t actually know everything, and that we can learn from others can help keep us in check, and exhort us to be more willing to listen and learn from others. So the next time we catch ourselves thinking that we alone are right or are feeling righteous, take a time to think as Albert Einstein puts it - What we don't know is much more than what we know, hopefully this kind of awareness can ground us into a more realistic way of thinking about whatever it is we are holding on to and being right about.

Yours truly,

The Queen Of Africa