Living The Same Year Twice...

"You have got to own your days and live them each, each one of them, every one of them, or else the years go by and none of them belong to you." - Herb Garden

This month, I had the chance to join The Female Entrepreneur Association (FEA) , for a 14 day- free trial where I took a few classes about mindset development since I am on my transformation journey and wow they really got me thinking.

Two of the courses created by Michelle Rohr stood out in particular because of the way she described how, ten years ago, as she stood in her family's coffee shop, she realized that, last year, on the same date, she was in their coffee shop, doing the same damn thing, and performing the same damn tasks, thinking the same damn way, I know it is a lot of damn but those words coming out of her mouth touched me to my core. I could totally relate.

Her lightbulb moment led her to make the decision to take matters into her own hands and assume full responsibility for her life going forward.

I was already feeling exactly the same way as Michelle felt 10 years ago, I just did not think about it and express it as "living the same year twice" in my circumstances more than trice, so it's not surprising that after finishing the course I was ready to blow up something or murder someone, just kidding! Everything that Michelle Rohr stated made perfect sense to me as I was listening to her. Recently again, I've been taking a close look at my life, my surroundings and myself, and I couldn't help but feel as though I'm a fish trapped in an aquarium just a few feet from the vast ocean. All it takes is for me to have the courage to leave my comfort zone, go out to new adventures, live incredible experiences, and meet and talk to interesting individuals.

When I walk into the office, I already know how the day will go; I know what we will discuss, argue, and stress over; it is always the same stuff every day, day in and day out. What surprises me, though, is the fact that none of us is going crazy over this nonsense of life, we literally live the same way from Monday through Friday. The life I am living is the perfect definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result - Albert Einstein.

Sara Blakely the founder of Spanx, related in many interviews, that after working for years selling fax machines door - to - door, she realized she was nowhere close to where she wanted to be in life, quoting her: “One day, I pulled off the side of the road, and I literally thought, ‘I’m in the wrong movie.’”

This is my current reality, I am definitely in the wrong movie and now I must decide what I am going to do about it, because I am the only person who has the power to flip the script of my life, if someone were coming to save me, they would already be here. First and foremost, I must pay attention to what I am thinking, I know I've said it before, but it bears repeating, because the moment you stop you fall right back right into your old patterns and you'll only have yourself to blame. It is time to be the lead in my own life by taking effective actions. It is not just about reading books, listening to podcasts, and bla bla bla, you must daily do the inner work to get there.

According to Michelle Rohr, if we don't take a trauma-informed approach to personal growth, we are disregarding a significant piece of the jigsaw and what we actually need to focus on in order to make the significant changes and advancement that we want. She believes that we must do the inner work to coming back to ourselves, without it, our success will not be sustainable. We cannot skip doing the inner work, because at the end of the day, our life and business will always be a reflection of who we are on the inside, the amount of inner work we have done and how big of a person we are from the inside. It requires time but it is the only option and the amount of work to put in will differ from person to person; what may be effective for me may not be effective for someone else.

A trauma-based approach to personal growth focuses on healing ourselves and crossing over from our safety zone to the other side rather than pushing through obstacles and getting things done.

This September, working on my mindset is my main focus, because everything begins in there. I am taking time to do the inner work by reflecting on my thoughts, actions and asking myself the though questions, what I am thinking and doing that keep putting me in the same situations with the same people over and over? Stepping back, and considering other strategies for dealing with individuals and situations that might yield different outcomes. I am sick and tired of encountering the same challenges, facing over and over the same problems and responding in the same ways. I want to emerge from my transformation journey being my best self, being unrecognizable to myself and those around me. And to achieve that, I must plan my days carefully and bend reality to conform to my desires in order to build the future I want for myself. I must act right away and daily, because now is all I will ever have. Anything and anyone that do not serve the transformation journey I am on, will be gently removed from my life.

Remember, life moves quickly; our own personal time machine never stops. It does not pause when we make mistakes to give us time to correct ourselves and change the course of our lives, or when our hearts are shattered to give us time to take a deep breath. Right now is when and where we have to take action and be the change we want to see in the world.

“Tomorrow isn’t promised to any of us.”— Kirby Puckett

Truly yours,

The Queen Of Africa