Coming Up For Air!

Have you ever felt like the weight of the world is suffocating you, even when you're physically breathing? There are moments when we find ourselves tangled in the midst of challenges and struggles, unable to fully comprehend or articulate their nature. Many people are hesitant to face reality head-on and acknowledge these obstacles for what they truly are, while they're acutely aware of the specific hurdles or individuals causing their distress, they hold on to an inner narrative convincing themselves that they're devoid of choice.

As human beings, we enter this world born into diverse families, cultures, and countries—circumstances we have no control over. These factors can either widen or limit the array of choices available to us. However, amidst the varied paths we navigate, one fundamental truth remains: there is always a choice. I recognize that many individuals have been so deeply conditioned to thinking and perceiving the world in a certain way that they struggle to fathom an alternative. They might see those who seem to live the life they desire as merely lucky or lost, depending on their perspective.

Cultures and religions, in and of themselves, are not inherently negative. Yet, it is the unfortunate reality that sometimes the people in our lives manipulate these aspects to assert control over us, extinguishing the vitality within us. They become tools of suppression, stifling our potential and preventing us from mentally breathing.

So, I ask you: What is it that hinders your mental breath? What invisible chains are constricting your growth, happiness, and fulfillment? In this blog post, let's explore the barriers we face, challenge the narratives we've accepted, and uncover the pathways towards reclaiming our freedom to breathe and thrive."

As I reflect upon my own journey, I vividly recall those times when the air felt thick and constraint, and I yearned to run away and live like a wild horse roaming freely in some far away place.

My first memory of feeling like I could not breathe arose in my earlier years, living with a mother determined to shape me in her own image and who was constantly wondering loudly why I could not be more like her and others. Her relentless pressure to make me conform to her idea of me left me gasping for air and looking for spaces to discover my own identity. I vividly remember running out of the house many times, seeking solace at friends' homes for a while. Those escapes offered temporary respites and relief, however, the reality was that I couldn't stay at those places indefinitely, I had to go back home.

The second time I felt stifled was when a rigid interpretation of God and religion were forced upon me, suffocating the very essence of my being. In their personal interpretation, God was someone who forbade so much that I eventually distanced myself from my religious upbringing, and stopped practicing. It went on for a few years but one day on TV, I stumbled upon a man who introduced me to a different vision of religion and God—a vision so beautifully inclusive and accepting that it reignited my faith and became the lens through which I viewed spirituality since then.

The third time was living for many years in a home, where after certain hours of the day, some parts of the house remain dark despite the hot African sun and during rainy season it was worse, living in that environment drained the life out of me, and cast a shadow over my thoughts and emotions. That dark atmosphere affected my overall well-being and the energy I attracted into my life. I was literally dying to have a place on my own which was unconceivable in our culture for an unmarried girl to live by herself at the time and I did not have the means to do it, so I stayed put until I got the opportunity to travel abroad. I learned from that experience to always ensure wherever I live is sunny and spacious.

The fourth time I experienced it was when I was sharing living spaces with people, it gave me the sensation of constantly feeling like suffocating, it became worse over the years and manifested in physical illness and a profound sense of suffocation. That was the last straw and a moment of profound realization which prompted me to make a crucial decision: I had to choose between hoarding money or preserving my sanity. I opted for the latter, taking the leap to live alone, and in that newfound space, I began to breathe again.

The Last time was much more recent, I realized that after I interacting with some people, I was feeling physically and mentally sick, it was like the air was draining from my lungs, and I was experiencing severe headaches. Becoming aware of my triggers led me to consciously choose how much of my time and energy I allocate to those people when it is necessary to engage with them.

These personal stories are a mere glimpse into the moments when I yearned to come up for air, I realized that my own mental shackles are the ones holding me captive in situations and relationships longer than it should have. What about you? What aspects of your life leave you gasping for air?

"One powerful exercise that has made a profound impact on my own journey is creating a vision board. I take an A3 size paper and in the center, I write or draw how I want to feel in my life. I envision the emotions I want to experience, the places I desire to live, and the transformative experiences I am seeking. It's a visual representation of the life I aspire to create.

I keep this vision board somewhere visible, where I can see it daily. It serves as a constant reminder of my dreams and desires. As I continue along my journey, I add new elements to the board, whether they are specific goals, experiences, or even people I wish to have in my life. It becomes a dynamic tool, evolving as I grow and manifest my desires.

This exercise has been a catalyst for positive change in my life. It helps me align my actions and decisions with the vision I have for myself. By consistently visualizing and affirming my aspirations, I have seen remarkable shifts occur. Opportunities and synchronicities have presented themselves, leading me closer to the life I envisioned.

I encourage you to give this exercise a try. Allow yourself the space to dream, to visualize, and to believe in the power of manifestation. Create your own vision board and place it somewhere visible as a constant source of inspiration. Let it guide you towards the life you desire, reminding you that each day is an opportunity to take steps towards your dreams."

"Another impactful step I take in conjunction with creating my vision board is mapping out my current situation. On a separate page, I honestly and objectively assess the aspects of my life that are causing me that suffocating sensation. I delve into the areas that feel constricting, the habits that hold me back, and the circumstances that hinder my growth.

This mapping exercise serves as a reality check, highlighting the potential consequences of inaction. I leave myself a heartfelt note reminding me that if I don't take proactive steps, my life will continue in this suffocating path indefinitely. It acts as a wake-up call, propelling me to confront the barriers and limitations that I have allowed to stifle my progress.

I encourage you to try this mapping exercise as well. Take a moment to honestly assess the areas of your life that are causing you to suffocate. Consider the habits, relationships, and circumstances that may be stifling your growth. Write them down and visualize how your life will continue if no action is taken.

By facing the reality of your situation, you ignite the motivation to make meaningful changes. Use this exercise as a catalyst to embark on your transformative journey, reclaiming your ability to breathe freely and manifest the life you truly desire."

My ultimate goal in sharing these experiences and exercises is to offer a beacon of hope to those who find themselves suffocating in life. I write this with the genuine desire that if you ever encounter a situation where you feel like you can't breathe, you will remember that there is a solution within reach. The answers lie within you.

I hope that my words will inspire you to take radical action and make necessary changes far earlier than I did. There were countless mornings when I woke up in the midst of that suffocating pain, convinced that I had no choice but to accept the life that was choking me. I clung to prayers, seeking strength to endure and convincing myself that I had no alternatives.

However, over time, I discovered a profound truth encapsulated in the words of Floyd Mayweather: 'Every day, we wake up, we got a chance and we got a choice.' It took me a while to internalize this message fully. But once I did, it transformed my perspective on life.

You too have the chance and the choice to break free from suffocating circumstances. You have the power within you to challenge the disempowering stories you tell yourself. Embrace the understanding that there is always another path, even if it may not be immediately visible. Trust in your ability to find the strength and the resources necessary to create a life that allows you to breathe freely and embrace boundless possibilities.

"Coming up for air is a deeply personal journey, and it takes on different forms for each individual. It may involve letting go of a partner who no longer aligns with your values and aspirations. It could mean summoning the courage to leave a job that drains your energy and stifles your potential. It might require severing toxic relationships that no longer serve your well-being and growth. For some, it could mean making the decision to move out of an environment that feels suffocating and seeking a place where they can truly thrive.

So, I implore you to seize this moment, to embrace the awareness that change is possible, and to take decisive action to transform your life. Remember that every day presents an opportunity to redefine your reality, rewrite your story, and reclaim your ability to breathe.

With all my heart,

Salima