Banging on the Wrong Doors

Welcome to today’s episode of Becoming the Most Successful You. Have you ever found yourself standing in front of a door, knocking for what feels like forever, convinced it’s the only way forward? Sometimes, we cling to desires or goals that aren't meant for us, pouring our energy into something that will never open the way we hope. In this episode, we’ll explore the importance of recognizing when you're knocking on the wrong door and the power of letting go. I’ll share personal stories of times I held on too tightly, only to realize that releasing my grip was the key to discovering what was truly meant for me. Let's dive in and learn how to embrace new paths and perspectives, so we can finally unlock the doors that lead to our true purpose.

I want to share with you a powerful prayer I heard from Fawn Weaver, the CEO of Uncle Nearest whiskey, that shifted my perspective. Here is the prayer:

“Dear God, if this is for me, please open the door in a manner that no one, including myself, can close. And if this is not for me, please close this door in a manner that no one, including myself, can open.”

When I heard this, something clicked inside me. It felt like I got a key that unlocked a door inside my mind. I began to see the truth behind so many moments in my life where I have been standing in front of the wrong doors, trying to force them to open. I realized that sometimes, regardless of how much we desire something, it is not meant for us, or we want it for the wrong reasons. And if we keep pushing to get it, we’re ignoring the signs that are trying to guide us elsewhere.

I often pair my journaling practice with listening to an inspiring podcast episode or reading a chapter from a book that speaks to me. Afterward, I like to take a walk in the park, wash dishes, mop the floor, or enjoy a hot bath. These simple activities are my creative spaces. It’s during those moments that I reflect on what I’ve absorbed, and that’s when the “aha” moments come—when answers and insights reveal themselves. It was in one of these moments that I uncovered some hard truths about my own life reflecting on this prayer.

For years, I was desperate for a promotion at work. I worked on myself, I showed up, I organized my department, and created systems to help it thrive. But the woman in charge never gave me the promotion that was promised to me by her predecessor. I spent two years standing in front of that door, banging as hard as I could, blaming her for not giving me the recognition I thought I deserved and resenting her. That resentment festered. But then, one day, I realized something: I didn’t even want that promotion and getting that promotion was more ego driven than anything else, me trying to impress people who I did not care about. The truth was, I wasn’t fulfilled working in that company, and no promotion would change that. That door was never meant for me. I had been so focused on it that I hadn’t taken the time to listen—to myself and to God. I had wasted so much time and energy trying to force open a door that was never supposed to open and I am grateful for it.

The same thing happened with my sister. We started a business together, even though I knew deep down we are completely different people, seriously like oil and water, but I went for it despite all my red flags. We have different drive, different personalities, and different ways of seeing the world. Over the years, I became angry and drained. She would promise to do things but always had an excuse for why she couldn’t. Here again I spent so much time blaming her, being frustrated, and pushing her to make it work. I was banging on that door for years, but it just wasn’t the right fit for us. It wasn’t the only way for me to create financial freedom, and once I stopped trying to force it, I was able to find peace. I stopped calling to blame her, stopped trying to make it work, and just let it be and let it go.

In life, we often hold onto what we think we want or believe is the only path to reach our goals. But the truth is, not everything we desire is meant for us or even good for us—and that’s perfectly okay. It’s through letting go that we make space for what’s truly meant for us.

If you find yourself standing in front of a door, knocking for what feels like forever, take a step back. Start journaling to explore whether this is really something worth pursuing. Use the "six why" technique to dig deep into why you want it, making sure your reasons are genuine and not driven by ego or the need to prove something to someone who doesn’t matter.

If, after reflecting, you realize this is a true desire for your own valid reasons, perhaps it’s time to explore another way to achieve it. Instead of wasting more time banging on the same door, consider that you might need to learn something new before it opens. Whatever the case, shift your approach—change how you see the situation and how you think about it. This shift in perspective will inspire different actions, which will ultimately lead to a different and better result.

Let’s end this episode with a prayer - “God, if this is for me, please open the door in a manner that no one, including myself, can close. And if this is not for me, please close this door in a manner that no one, including myself, can open.”

PS: The above exists in a podcast format, click on my podcast to access to the audio format if you rather be listening.