A Lesson from Princess Diana

Let’s talk about expectations, what is expectation, it is a strong belief that something will happen or be. And expectations form the invisible threads that weave the tapestry of our lives, influencing our emotions, perceptions, and interactions. They act as silent architects, shaping our experiences and defining the lens through which we view the world.

Last week, I watched for the first time the TV Show, The Crown Season 6, Episode 1, involving Princess Diana, and a particular scene shed light on the intricate dance between expectation and reality. As we explore this captivating episode, we'll unravel the complex nature of expectations and the powerful impact they have on our daily lives.

In this episode, Princess Diana, post-divorce from Prince Charles, accepts an invitation from Mohamed Al-Fayed to escape the relentless scrutiny of the UK. Accompanied by her two children, she embarks on a journey to Italy, where opulence and extravagance await her. The narrative takes an unexpected turn when Al-Fayed's son, Dodi, is assigned by his father the task of keeping her company.

Princess Diana, who was an epitome of grace and beauty, found herself entangled in a subtle dance of emotions with Dodi Fayed. As their time in Italy unfolded, a silent connection began to form, and Dodi found himself captivated by her presence.

Before bidding adieu to the enchanting Italian villa, a perceptive Dodi sensed a hint of sadness in Diana's demeanor. With genuine concern, he delicately broached the subject, inviting her to share her thoughts. Diana, in a moment of vulnerability, revealed that she needed to send her children back to the UK, leaving her to navigate the coming days in solitude.

Responding with a warmth that echoed through his words, Dodi assured her that she was always welcome in their home and on their luxurious yacht. Grateful for the unexpected comfort, Diana expressed her heartfelt thanks before embarking on her journey back to the UK.

Upon her return to the familiar confines of her London home, Diana was met with a breathtaking display of beautiful flowers, a visual symphony that resonated with the elegance she embodied. A smile played on her lips as she absorbed the floral embrace that filled her living space.

And amidst the floral tapestry, she discovered a meticulously wrapped box. With a sense of anticipation, she carefully unveiled its contents to reveal an exquisite and expensive watch, a testament to Dodi Fayed's thoughtful gesture. Accompanying the lavish timepiece was a card, its inscription leaving an air of mystery — "Paris in a week?"

What struck me in that scene was not the lavish setting or the grand gestures, but rather Princess Diana's reaction. Her countenance revealed an acceptance of the extravagant treatment she received, almost as if it was the norm in her life. The realization dawned that she had come to expect such treatment from the men around her.

This scene prompted a reflection on the commonplace expectations that many of us harbor daily. Do we expect roses, chivalrous gestures, and tokens of affection much like Princess Diana's expectation of lavish treatment? Certainly not. As I sat pondering this, I unearthed the disconcerting truth about my own expectations. Instead of envisioning flowers and luxury watches, I found myself bracing for tense relationships at work, strained family dynamics, and an uncertain and feared future. It was a sobering realization — the expectations I held were shaping a reality that was far from fulfilling. Whenever I was not paying attention to my thoughts, I would fall into this default mode of expectations.

Princess Diana's story serves as a poignant reminder that our expectations, whether grand or mundane, play a pivotal role in shaping our reality. Perhaps it's time to recalibrate our expectations, embracing positivity and openness to the unexpected.

How do we recalibrate our expectations, then? How do we shift from a mindset of fear and dread to one of hope and anticipation? One possible way is to practice gratitude. Gratitude is the act of recognizing and appreciating the good things in our lives, whether big or small, and expressing our thanks for them. By practicing gratitude, we can cultivate a more positive outlook on life, focusing on what we have rather than what we lack. Gratitude can also help us cope with stress and challenges, as we acknowledge the support and resources we have at our disposal. Gratitude can also enhance our relationships, as we show our appreciation for the people who matter to us.

Another possible way to recalibrate our expectations is to challenge our negative thoughts. Negative thoughts are the automatic and often distorted beliefs that we hold about ourselves, others, and the world. They can influence our emotions, behaviors, and expectations, often leading to self-fulfilling prophecies. For example, if we expect to fail at something, we might not put in enough effort or give up easily, thus confirming our expectation. To challenge our negative thoughts, we need to identify them, evaluate their validity, and replace them with more realistic and balanced alternatives. By doing so, we can break the cycle of negativity and open ourselves to new possibilities.

A third possible way to recalibrate our expectations is to embrace uncertainty. Uncertainty is the state of not knowing what will happen in the future, and it can cause anxiety and stress for many of us. We might try to avoid uncertainty by clinging to familiar routines, seeking reassurance, or making predictions. However, these strategies can backfire, as they can limit our flexibility, creativity, and growth. Instead of avoiding uncertainty, we can learn to accept it as a natural and inevitable part of life. We can also view uncertainty as an opportunity to explore, learn, and discover new things. Rather than expecting the worst, we can expect the best, or at least be open to whatever comes our way.

In the garden of life, let our expectations be seeds of positivity, blooming into unforeseen moments of beauty.

With all my heart,

Salima